Technology and the Tools for Romance

Technology is amazing. And often weird.

I just finished reading about a brand new product, a ring which sits at the base of a condom and measures all sorts of things while the condom is in use. The description of the data generated by this new technology is pretty strange. Why would anyone need to know how many thrusts, how fast or slow, size of girth?

Hell, I’m a romance writer with a lurid imagination and I am mystified at who the target market for this product might be. People who adore statistics? Folks who like to gamble? Men who feel under-decorated when naked?

Can you imagine the pillow talk?

She: “How was it for you, dear?”

He: “Not sure. Let me check.”

For that matter, consider the moment the inventor had his epiphany in his cubicle at Technology Incorporated. Yes, absolutely his epiphany. I don’t have to research this. A woman did not come up with this idea. No. Mr. Inventor came home at the end of the workday, his cheeks flushed with excitement.

Not those cheeks.

“Honey.” He called, as he entered the house. “I’ve created the most wonderful product ever.”

“Hmm?” His wife responded, clicking away on her keyboard.

“It’s sort of like a Fitbit, but it’s going to be way more popular.”

“Good.” She waved impatiently. “I’ll be right with you. Just let me finish this blog entry – ”

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a way to track how often we try different sexual positions? And have a way to gauge how we measure up to other couples in other parts of the world? This device is going to be the best idea since Harry Micklethorpe in the next cubicle came up with an intelligent toilet. He was strutting around the office for months.”

“Uhuh.” She leaned toward the computer screen in a vain effort to regain her train of thought.

“Plus we can share our statistics online with all our friends. But my boss said women might not like it.”

“Sounds like a winner, dear.” She nodded vaguely, replacing one dangling modifier with another.

“Yes!!!” He pumped his fist. “I knew he was wrong.”

By the time his wife looked up from her keyboard, her husband had called the office and ordered manufacturing to begin. Let this be a lesson to those of us who insist on blogging when we ought to be listening.

Rose Grey has written three romance novels and is hard at work on a fourth. If you liked this post, come visit the rest of the blog at Hot Pursuit and Not As Advertised are available as ebooks and as paperbacks online.